Ever find yourself handing out advice to your friends like there’s no tomorrow?
You don’t mind it, in fact you genuinely enjoy helping your friends in whatever crazy circumstance which may arise. Rain, shine, wind, hail, whichever hurricane’s next on the list, you’re there for them. You may not even have had that much experience with the problems they’re going through, but you still manage to crack a solution every time. You take time to evaluate the situation with an objective viewpoint and come at an angle which will at least help your gal/pal/galpal stop feeling so down.
But what happens when it’s you that’s got caught in a smoking pile of bullshit? You’re lost. You’re the advice giver – and more often than not, your worst enemy.
Being so preoccupied with helping others, you prioritise your friend’s emotional and mental wellbeing; you are simply fulfilled knowing that you have helped someone through their struggles.Focusing on others this way leads you to not having the first clue as to how to approach your own mess.
Sound familiar? Below are the signs to tell when enough is enough, and that you need to start taking care of yourself:
You put yourself last
Having time to yourself is not selfish, it’s essential. By prioritising other’s problems and solutions entirely, you end up neglecting your own, no matter how big or small. This will cause your own pile of worries to build up and eventually boil over – which could get ugly. Take the time to approach things practically, making your own time for you whilst balancing the support your provide for others.
Your general well-being suffers
Not only could your mental health take a bit of a dive, but your physical health too. Stress is such a horrific thing for your body to experience, causing a range of problematic issues such as heart problems, premature aging and a weakened immune system to say the least. If things begin to get on top of you, find ways to release stress which make you feel comfortable. If you don’t know where to start, introductory meditation tutorials and breathing exercises via YouTube may help you focus and clear your head.
You don’t know how to approach your own problems
You don’t take your own advice because you don’t know what to suggest. By physically picturing yourself outside your mind and body, this makes it easier to make an objective overview of the situation. Ask yourself how you would approach it were a friend to be experiencing the same thing.
You withdraw yourself
Asking for help is one of the KEY things we need to do, but often, don’t. Why? Because we believe we aren’t worth the hassle. Though it’s hard to approach others with problems of your own, you will see they will be more than happy to help you; if they aren’t willing to reciprocate your support, don’t stick around.
You do things despite their consequences
Sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. By lowering your self-worth, you may feel an unhealthy relationship build with the devil on your shoulder. You ignore your issues although you probably shouldn’t, but forget about the consequences because your self esteem simply has taught you that you don’t matter.
Indeed, sometimes you just need to listen to your own advice, and actually take it. Never put yourself last and believe that you matter.